I’m Allergic to Alcohol

Seriously.

Whenever people (usually new co-workers) ask me if I drink, I always say no. They’re a little surprised. Most of them even chuckle, thinking that I’m just fooling with them. But no, it’s true, I’m allergic to alcohol. It’s not to say that I’ve never had a drink before but do I prefer it? No. Do I like it? Most certainly not. Instead, pour me something that’s non-alcoholic, fizzy & bubbly. Hell, add a little umbrella to the drink, I don’t care. To me, as long as I’m able to have a good time with everyone else, do I really need an alcohol in my drink? However, it is quite difficult to avoid alcohol in the food industry.

You’re probably still wondering, how is anyone allergic to alcohol? The idea of it sounds crazy! But is it really? I mean, there are tons of food allergies out there and many of them can be fatal. It’s no different with alcohol. Whenever I have a drink, the effects are always the same. Whether beer, wine, or liquor, the only difference is how quick it’ll hit me.

First, I turn red. Really red. My whole body gets red (think tomato red). My eyes will have looked bloodshot, or as if I smoked a blunt. My body will be slightly swollen, most notably, my hands. The scars on my arms are more predominant (I’m assuming it’s because I’m all red). It almost looks as if it’s radiating. Lastly, I’ll feel dizzy, tipsy and most likely on my way to being drunk. All this happens within a mere 12 minutes. Yeah, my previous co-workers decided to time how fast this happens. 12 minutes.

What does it take? 1 beer. 1/2 glass of wine. 1 shot. Done. Am I cheap date or what?

And let me tell you from first hand experience, it’s socially unacceptable. What do people usually do after a long days work with their colleagues? Go out for happy hour of course! I’ve learned, more than once, that going out for a drink after work doesn’t always end well for me. I remember there would be times where I’ll be stumbling home, feeling as if the world is spinning around me, and the trek to my bathroom for a shower, seems like an expedition. This is not to say that I never drink. On the rare occasion, I’ll have a drink if it’s for a celebration. That’s about it.

Craft beers and local wines? I get it. I do appreciate it and love hearing the back story of it. But for now, I think I’ll just be tasting it.

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